Monday, December 20, 2010
I unpacked a box last week. I found some really cute Clarks I had bought in 2006. The week before I was starting to feel bummed because I donated my boots when we moved here almost 3 years ago, but the clarks I found are so much nicer. I must have picked them over the boots at the time. My mom bought the kids new clothes recently....now I need to cut down on things there too. I think I am going to have a trunk full of clothes to donate after the holidays.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
I switched to underware for G this week...he does fine if I force him to use the potty every 2 hours, but he just assume pee himself and walk around wet. He doesn't stay dry at night either, so I think I may take a break & then try again later. Boys....they just don't care.....
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Give me a break. Your drama, you deal with it. My husband has never wanted to hear my opinion on his family drama unless it completely agrees with his own opinion. Or he will fight my opinion to the death with me, and then think about it a few days and then present them to his family as if he had a flash of insight.
So as for this little task...he wants to help...I am not going to stop him. He wants to drag me into, no matter how simple, I am stepping down. I would never drag him into my family drama and ask for favors. When I do vent to him about my family drama, I at least listen to and respect his opinion.
So save the drama fro your mama and don't put off on others what you can easily do yourself.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
I do not feel like subjecting myself to anymore radiation than necessary or someone telling me that I have to submit myself and my children to radiation. These are my babies. I don't spend money to feed them mostly organic so that they can go subject themselves to radiation. Sure they can argue it is safe, the levels are so low, it is FDA approved, all they want. I don't trust them. I know it is just so our former Sec. of Homeland Security can hook up his buddies with some nice spending money. People will lie to make a $1, so what will they do to make $30M?? They say they don't store the images, it has been proven different. They say you can't see any private details, but this has also been proven a lie. Sounds like a lot of lies.
So let's say you opt. out. That doesn't sound too bad. Oh wait! TSA has no problem feeling around genitalia, your crack, looking down your pants from the waist, feeling under your shirt. You want me to let a stranger do that to me???? To my children?!?? Make no mistake you touch my children like that...TSA or not I will hunt you down and kill you. The quickest way to bring terrorists home is to create them by treating them with disrespect. I give it a few more months before someone brings a serious gun to security and wipes out ever TSA agent in the area. Probably someone's mother or father...or maybe just someone who didn't like their junk being checked out.
Let's be real. If I want to get something in I still can. You can swallow it or shove it up your ass. There are also a few other ways I can think of that would involve a little more planning...but you get the point. Even if they went to strip searches there will always be someone that will be able to get something past security and where they want it. Just the way it is... but you know, lets spend billions of dollars on security at a time when we are already in the negative and since we are spending the money let's make sure we spend it on big useless corporations.
I refuse to fly until TSA changes their ways. This means Alaska Air just lost $1k this year and KLM lost $3k from my family alone. When the airlines need a bailout they should send them to our former Sec. of Homeland Security's door and make him pay. If it means he has to file bankruptcy than so be it....he can rejoin the middle class.
There are a lot of great stories out there. If you have to fly Opt. Out. When you do Opt out and they touch you in inappropriate ways or do so without your permission... call 911. They legally have no right to search you unless you give them cause. Choosing not to subject your body to radiation or having your nudy picture taken is not just cause. If the police have to come to airport security every 5 minutes to file a report against TSA things will change. Write your local representatives and express your concerns. If you don't care about your personal freedom being taken away then you should just dig your own grave and at least save the rest of us the $2k it would cost to bury your sorry ass.
If you want to spend some more time looking into things here is a good place to start.
I wish I had more time to spend with G. He is my boy, and my only boy.
I figured out last night each child had a special baby skill. For Z it was projectile poop, for G projectile pee (he is a boy after all), for M projectile puke. I am such a proud mother :)
It has also been about 3 months since A left. He went back to his mother. He needed/needs/wants drug abuse counseling. He is an addict. My husband & I spent a day finding him a place he could go to before sending him to his mother. My husband even set up the appointment so he could start. His mom canceled it, "too busy." We offered to set up another one for A if she could tell us when a good time was....she didn't know when. Now 2.5 months later A is skipping school to use and back to all his old ways. All the work that took us a year was undone in less than 3 months. His mom still doesn't care because she is still "too busy." She is a single mom so I do cut her some slack, but she has unlimited reasonable income from her parents. She ask they give.
So what is she so busy with...working as a TA (6 hours a day) in a Special Ed class and taking classes 2 nights a week. Her children all take care of themselves and raise themselves while she sits in her room studying so that she gets straight A's. I think if she cared she would figure out when she could make time to help her son, but maybe sometimes it is easier to ignore it and just hope things work themselves out.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
I may sound like I am 80 years old but...
As long as we have our health and don't lack food and warmth everything will be okay. Machines and technology can be awesome. I don't have to walk to go get water, I don't have to start a fire to be warm, I don't have to spend all day, everyday, tending the land only to have it ruined by pests or early rain and worry about where my next meal will come from and how I will feed my family. It would appear to me that we have everything handed to us on a silver platter.
It doesn't matter if you voted Red & your neighbor voted Blue. The same sh!t will still be there. We have start focusing on what is really important, and stop being distracted by everything else.
What is important to you?
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
hour 1 eat breakfast
hour 2 pick up mess from hour 0
hour 3 get everyone dressed
hour 4 Costco.
hour 5 Septic "fun"
hour 6 lunch.
hour 7 Z's dance.
hour 8 cook dinner
hour 9 homeschool kids
hour 10 eat dinner
hour 11 get kids in bed
hour 12-13 relax
hour 14 try to sleep while husband on computer
hour 15 feed baby
hour 16 sleep finally
Now mind you there is nursing in there about every 2 hours for 15 minutes and I do all of this while holding the 2 month old.
Never a dull moment.
Monday, November 01, 2010
I am so tired of parents being so selfish and not taking the time to address the problems their children have. Children need your time. They need to be cuddled and loved. They need to have interaction with other children AND their parents. They need to get out of the house and learn by watching their parents. They need healthy food to eat. (If you wouldn't put low octane cheap gas in your car why the hell would you put fast "food" in your children unless there is nothing else available.) You take your dog for a walk everyday so it doesn't tear up your house or sh1t on everything, why not take your children out to play too. If only we use a little bit of common sense and spend time interacting with our children a little each day, I am sure many problems would be minimized or disappear completely.
We had a nice weekend. My husband was more open to celebrating Halloween this year. The kids got costumes and decorated pumpkins. My husband even carved one too. To build up to the holiday we made paper pumpkins & strung them up in the window and made hanging paper spiders with accordion folded legs. We are in a very low traffic area so I was happy that we had 3 sets of tricker treaters for the kids to greet.
Today I started Z on Oak Meadow 1st grade curriculum. We meet 4 gnomes; Plus, Minus, Times, & Divide. I want to get my daughter reading small chapter books, writing short sentences, and doing basic addition and subtraction before she starts school. I think G will pick up a lot by watching his sister so I am hoping to start him on Kindergarten curriculum in another year. I am interested to start Z on an instrument soon too and to re-enroll the younger children in Music Together when Z starts school.
This weekend my baby, M, started cooing "ma-ma." She also will copy clicking noises and tries so hard to speak to us and to sit up.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
So here we are a few days later. The pipe is repaired and parts of the basement/MIL unit is gutted down to the studs. Now I get to spend time with insurance and hope we can get it back the way it was in the next month.
I think my husband is taking this harder than I am. I understand, these things happen. (Apparently even to cooper pipes that are only 22 years old.) He has never had to repair a home.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
My father has basically disowned me. I was raised Christian and let's just say I took the Bible to heart and read it several times as a teen. I did not agree with the church because not a single one of them follows the bible. They all take & choose what they need and leave the rest. When you start to see the real truth, people don't like you because you are challenging the familiar.
If you truly believe the bible you learn to "Trust in the Lord God with all your heart, lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths."
Ever really try to live like that? Don't worry, trust in God when things happen that you don't understand?
It is no secret that I married a Muslim man. However, he is not just any man. He is the best man I have ever known. He treats me better than I deserve. My father has never tried to see past "muslim." He has always been racist, so it is no shocker. However now he feels it is his duty to post the latest anti-Islamic thing he can find on facebook daily. All of it has to do with Islam and all Muslims being from the devil or how it is trying to take over the world.
I told him, we know he has a strong opinion, but he only does harm when posting these lies.
Now he has removed me from being his "friend" and continues to post directing them toward me and my lack of "knowledge" about Islam for all to see. Why because he is not smart enough to use the privacy settings.
I am sad that my mother will be the only grandparent my children truly know and spend time with. I pray God keeps her with us for at least another 20 years.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Only make 1 color, black.
Nursing openings are bigger, so when you nurse you are going to show some boobage.
They didn't try these on real moms, so if you have a belly you are actually try to squeeze in there, the tummy control doesn't come down far enough. They would benefit from adding 2 inches.
Price $49 (which isn't that bad when you consider the regular ones sale for $35-39)
It seems constructed really well. They used nice clasps.
It is really long. It covers the hips a bit. This could also be seen as a con depending on your personal wants/use.
I think with a few tweaks it could be a really good. If I remember, I'll update this in a week or two.
I wore it a few days. I don't think it really makes a long term difference on my tummy. But it does make me look better when I wear it. (Makes my tummy look a little flatter and my waist slimmer.)
10 days after having M I loaded up the car and drove the family to Cali. M had been in 3 states before she was even 2 weeks old. I had help both ways and it was uneventful.
I only spent 12 hours at my SIL's and by hour 7 I was ready to take my kids and run out the door. She went from sitting on her bum studying her room to yelling at her kids in 3 seconds. One was cooking dinner, "How come you aren't cooking dinner faster!!!!" What's wrong with you!" (Uh because dinner is still 2 hours away.) "Why did you run the dishwasher when it wasn't full!! Are you dumb?" (Uh, because every plate, cup, and silverware we own is dirty and we need them for dinner.) Her children were running the house and doing a good job at it and all she did was bitch. Seriously maybe I am missing something but I have no idea what she would have done differently that her kids didn't do.
I love my SIL, but she needs to find balance in her life because it is seriously missing and she isn't helping herself or her kids right now. I guess she was just raised in a way that she only had to focus on one thing at a time and feels over whelmed dealing with more than one thing on her plate?
I got a good one last week. It was someone telling me about how I was a bad step mother and this poor teenager that lived with me. She also assumed that my husband was his father. She went on and on and on. I am sure she had good intentions, but um...
This is a good reminder of how we shouldn't judge and jump to conclusions on anything we read on the internet because we only read one side of the story and often we are missing important details.
In case you are just joining us, the teen is not my husbands son, or my step son. Bad as it sounds, if it were my own son or step son, I would have slapped him upside the head a lot more than twice in the one year he was here and would have been a lot harder dishing out other punishments. I assure his own mother will probably slap him upside the head more than twice in the next two months.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Friday night August 20th I had contractions on and off. They ranged from 10 minutes apart to 30 minutes apart. Around 3am they started being intense(r) and lasting a minute or more and regularly 10 minutes apart. Around 4 am I told my husband, "let's get going."
We arrived at the hospital at 5am. They found I was 6-7cm dilated with a bulging water. Was told the on call OB was a female (as DH strongly prefers) only till 7 am. I got in a room. The contractions got intense, like with Z. I asked to get in the tub. Took the nurse 3 more contractions to get it ready. Got in the tub, no relief. I said, "I need to push." That was at 6am. Nurse checked me, sure enough I was 9+ cm. I said "Get the OB now!" There was a scramble to get the OB as they knew I was not waiting. Turned out the OB was in the hospital and she was there. One contraction, she broke my water. 2 contractions baby's head was there and she did a quick stretch, 3rd contraction her head came out. Cord was around baby's neck twice, OB yelled, wait!! wait!! Got to get the cord off her neck. I was in mid-contraction (they were lasting 2 minutes by now), I paused for about 5 seconds, then I couldn't stand it and I pushed her all the way out.
Malak(mel-ick / "angel") was born 6:12 am weighing 7lbs 4 oz and 19 3/4".
Friday, August 20, 2010
A was looking forward to getting a cell phone. He has not been allowed to have one since living with us because it really is not necessary. He needs to be where he says he is and then we can always reach him and he can always reach us. It also makes him more dependent on others and society in a good way. Well obviously now he is not getting a phone, instead the money he was going to be spending on that will be donated to a cause (of his choice, if he can choose one.)
He will also start a rehab program and if that does not yield results he be left to whatever comes his way.
Since he is upset (about the punishment, not about himself smoking pot), he talked to his mother on and off all day. Here is the part I will never understand. His mother knows I am due any day now, knows I have two small children at home, and knows we go to bed around 10pm and that her son's bed time is 9pm....she calls at 11:30pm. Yes that is right she calls my cell phone at 11:30 at night. I will never understand how inconsiderate she is or how she fails to use her brain...which ever one this falls into. If she does this when I have a new baby I am going to chew her up and spit her out, no excuse other than serious illness, hospitalization or death will be accepted. :p
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Yesterday I do A's laundry. I find first a lighter, than eye drops.
First story, "I just have eye drops cause a girl I work with smokes pot and I had some extra I was sharing." Clearly a lie, because he had no eye drops that I or anyone else bought him, so why would he have them just laying around.
Second story, "I just had a lighter because like a month ago I use to smoke cigarettes, but I stopped now and have it all under control." Booo hooo and lots of tears and sob story about how we don't trust him.
Story number 3, "I have been smoking pot since March. I have a problem but I have no motivation to change." No tears.
Now here are some questions for you. How does a 16 year old with no money, get money to buy all this? Who is he stealing from or is he just dealing again? Guess what, I would bet money he is dealing again.
If he is stupid enough to bring a lighter and eye drops in my house, where is the weed?
Golly, Gee...no wonder he brought his big knife back from his mom's house. He needs to feel safe while dealing with the people he is dealing with. My husband wrote it off instead of confiscating it.
Why the hell does my husband think A is remorseful when he clearly is not. A would love to get off drugs but really doesn't see why or how he should do this. Until he is motivated to stop smoking pot he won't and things will only get worse for us all until he is back where he was.
I straight up told my husband you can't raise your children around someone that messed up and then pretend to be shocked when your children do the same thing later. I am not willing to sacrifice my children because I am busy trying to help A. Everything comes at a price and this is not a price I am willing to pay. I told him think it over and choose, so that I don't have to. In other words, he can choose to work with A for the next year or 2 and we can cut our ties, or he can choose to continue living with his children.
Really, don't ever get in between a mama and her babies. She will do whatever it takes as long as her babies are protected.
I really want to just pack up the car and get out, my gut tells me to do it now, my body says you are going to have this baby any day, you can't just get up and leave. Then my gut says, okay then just get a local hotel until this baby is born. Seriously I need to get him on the next plane out of here and save myself the headache.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
TMI in regards to pregnancy
Mucus - check
weird spotting - check
Now I wait for the live on the bathroom toilet feeling to completely overwhelm me....which I am fighting...so it isn't quite over whelming yet.
Then should come the contractions and God willing the baby.
In preparation news. The baby book came yesterday and I filled out all I could.
My husband's mother sent us money to buy each child a gift. I got Z the new Leapster Explorer.
I know she has been wanting one. She loves to play with her cousin's Leapster, so when I saw that they just released a new one, I knew it was for her. The best thing is, I ordered through the company's website and got the Explorer, a game, and 2 app. codes for $75 (plus tax) and free shipping. There are always 20% off codes...just look around. They have not released the case yet, so I found some scrap fabric and made Z something to keep it from getting scratched.
I think it will be great to keep her and her brother entertained should they need to wait around while I am labor.
For G I think I am going to get him Lego Duplo train set. Just need to order it online this week.
I think I am ready...only thing left to go is install the car seat, but DH can do that anytime (after the baby is born, but before we need a ride home.)
Thursday, August 05, 2010
I am up to 166 lbs, so I gained some weight this week. We had company over the weekend so I am exhausted. I seriously just want to sleep for 24 hours.
Yes I had more contractions at the NST but nothing I noticed.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
We have company coming over this weekend...and last minute company last night. I have been cleaning and preparing all week. I am exhausted, but I get little bouts of energy. I still want to clean out the fridge, clean my room, and finish cleaning my bathroom. I also have a little bit of baby related laundry I want to get done before they arrive, but if it never gets done...no loss.
In teenager news, I get so frustrated at half ass jobs and then being told, "Why don't you say thank you?" "You don't like me..." sniffle, cry, sniffle. "Can you give me a ride to X?" Seriously 16, almost 17 and still having pity parties and crying. This is what happens when you baby your child past 4 or 5 and give him (or her) everything they ask for and do everything for him or her.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I was having cramping all morning. About 2-3 an hour. They stopped when I laid on my left side and did my NST. I only had one little one in 20 minutes. The nurse gave me water juice and crackers. Sure enough, G spilled the water all over the floor. I felt so bad, but at least it was water. Both kids did really well considering we were there for an hour and a half.
Z has her dance classes now and I noticed that the day she has the class she wants mama and has a hard time sleeping at night. I talked to her and it appears that she is not comfortable with the idea of mama leaving her (with a stranger.) She doesn't cry or get upset in dance class, but she is just attached to her mama. I am hoping with time it gets better and I am glad I am doing this now instead of next year when she starts school. I think 4 is a good age to try out some independence.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Aside from perishables and toiletries my hospital bag is packed enough. Most of the 0-3 month clothes are washed as well as blankets. I have a pack of newborn diapers. I just have to prep the car and was the cover to the baby swing and I think I might be ready.
If I had to bet money I would say 3 more weeks from today. We have guests coming at the end of the month, so my next goal is to make it through that visit. Then we may have a guest or send the 16 year old to his mom the following weekend, so if that happens, I need to wait until he gets back because he is our babysitter should we need one in a pinch.
Z is enjoying her dance class. G is just having fun being a boy and taking apart things. 16 year old started his job and has been complaining and arguing about everything possible for the last week. He must like his room...
Husband hasn't resolved a week+ old fight, because it would mean admitting he was wrong. The more I look at us, the more I realize I have become more like him (for the better) and he has become more like me (for the worse). I guess I only have myself to blame... :)
Monday, July 12, 2010
Now that Z is 4 years old I moved her to a booster car seat. You know it is about time when they start buckling and unbuckling the car seat and they are over 40" and very close to 40lbs.
It also helped because her brother outgrew his car seat so it was time for everyone to do an upward shift.
I was just going to get her a generic Graco Turbo booster for $50 at Target or online but then when I saw it it just looked uncomfortable. If we only did local trips it would be a great seat, but I am sure there will be a few 800 mile trips done using this seat so I decided to keep looking for something a little better but still under $100.
Reviews online said the Roanoke model had better padding and an added pillow as well as the ability to recline a bit. Z and I went to Toys R Us and checked it out. I pulled a few seats off of the shelf and let her try them out and sure enough she liked the Roanoke the best.
It has an extra pillow at the head and an extra pillow at the back, both are removal able. The seat also is a little more padded than some of it's cheaper counter parts. It also has EPS foam, on the reviews it was debatable for the cheaper counterparts. At 4o" Z uses the seat on the 2nd to lowest setting. The seat itself says it goes from 38" - 57" and 30-100lbs.
Z is now happy and excited so we are all happy. Now I am just going to be that paranoid mom the double checks her daughters seat belt all the time :)
Background: We spend $1500 a month on food/clothing and we are trying to cut down and make sure there is no waste. DH has several techy wants (iphone, laptop, and our TV has been struggling) and we could always use extra money to do little improvements on the house.
Yesterday I needed 7-8 things from the store and I wrote it out to the detail (2 gallons of a specific brand of milk because most others taste awful, a watermelon, 5 limes, cheese, mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, optional as it was Z's request for pizza, and a chocolate candy bar for me.) I was going to go and it would have taken me all of 20 minutes. My husband insisted on going. He was gone for an hour and a half. Should have totaled $30-40.
I called him an hour and 20 minutes in and asked him if he was doing okay and coming home soon. He said, "I had to go to lots of stores." To which I reply, I thought you would just go to the store 5 minutes away that had everything. Next time mama will just go."
Come to find out he was on the phone with his mom too (long distance) so that is why he was so short with me. (Usually he just says, I am on the other line, I'll be home in 10 minutes.)
He comes back with a 30 lbs watermelon (we struggle to eat 15lbs before it goes bad), a box of croissants, a huge bag of rolls, another smaller bag of french bread, salsa, 3 gallons of milk that tastes like cardboard (because of the container the company uses and he knows this from our past experiences), mushrooms, 3 limes, sundried tomatoes, a huge box of ritz crackers, jalapeno, and 5 lbs of cheese (that we also agreed not to use anymore because it contains hormones). He easily spent $100.
When I saw all the food I was upset. I just spend $125 on food two days ago and now he just spent another $100 mostly on stuff we didn't need and other stuff nobody wants. Now he is feeding the kids croissants while the cherries I bought, the salad I made all go bad. When he saw I was upset, he said, if you don't like it don't eat it. So I didn't.
I was busy uploading pictures last night (since the grandma's have been requesting it for a month) and husband was busy in the kitchen making pizza. He says, I need help. I say, okay I need to finish this up and then I will come help. I get in the kitchen and he used all the plates for cutting up pizza toppings (instead of the cutting board like we normally do) and there were no plates for dinner and we wanted me to stand there and wash them all.
Seriously! I can't stand for more than 5 minutes without being in pain. I have one girl lip that is always 2-3 times bigger than the other. And I am no wimp....2 unmedicated child births and honestly the last one didn't hurt until it was time to get the head out.
He cleaned up after himself last night which was awesome and I thanked him for (he usually just leaves it all for me.) He started the kids to bed, but then was really pissy and short with them, so I took over and sent him away.
This morning I try to talk to him. So I go out to the garage to let him know my side. It started out cool, but then he tried his guilt trip of....I was just trying to help. This is the same BS the 16 year old gives when he just what he wants to do to help and doesn't do what he is asked to do. My husband continue tries to say he is just trying to help and I told him yes and I thanked you for the kitchen and I explained to him why he should have not bought all that food to which he replied don't eat it then.
He just starts backing out of the garage, not willing to find a happy ending to the conversation. Just being stubborn and blaming me for getting upset at him, not taking any of the responsibility himself so I punch his hood. I am fuming. Why must he always run away without taking any responsibility. Then I punch the garage door. Then I move all his food downstairs including the 30 lb water melon. He is going to eat all his shit and no one else is going to help him.
Poor him....booo freaking hoo...
Ironically I know he is just being pissy because he hasn't had sex in a long time and it looks like it won't happen anytime in the next 3 months. Let's see your left ball swell up 2 times bigger than normal and tell me how that makes you feel.
Friday, July 09, 2010
Today I have had my tingly feeling that I usually get and then loose the mucous plug within 24 hours....which usually intern leads to labor within another 24 hours. Yeah I am thinking this one is different and better be different :)
The baby did have a serious case of the hiccups today which was good because it tells me that if this little one comes early we should be okay.
I did find an OB yesterday that is willing to take me on and I have my first appointment with her in 2 weeks. I hope and think I should be able to hold this baby in until then at least. By then baby should be around 6lbs too, a nice healthy weight.
I want baby to be here soon, but I just don't want baby to be here too soon. I want baby to be ready to come home with me and room in with me. I need to do some laundry and wash the ol' infant carrier seat....and pick up a pack or two of diapers...and pack a bag.
I think it is going to be a busy weekend....
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
I am still in search of an OB/GYN...it has been a week and I have made so many phone calls. I hope I get someone who is willing to take me on in the next few days.
Over the weekend we got the 16 year old an electronic drum set. He has a love of drums and use to play before his world got flipped upside down. He wasn't too thrilled at electronic but now that he has them he truly loves them. Every free available moment is spent drumming. If everything works out he should have his first job starting next week. Things are starting to look up for him, hopefully he realizes it and stays on the ball so that things continue to go well for him.
Z started her dance lessons this week. I let her out of my sight for 30 minutes (the class is 45) and under the supervision of a stranger. We both did better than I expected. G and I got to spend a little time together to, so hopefully it was beneficial to us all.
Monday, June 28, 2010
I have a vein problem...I think...in my girl parts. I couldn't get the U/S tech to verify it today. Whatever it is...the risk is high like 25% that something very serious could go wrong. On a good day it is 20 minutes to the hospital...realistically 30 minutes.
My first child was born less than 4 hours after checking in, my second was 2 hours after checking in (a birth center, and most of that 2 hours was pushing cause he was big.) Anyone care to take a guess at how long I will have for #3 who should be equal to the size of #1 (who took 5 minutes to push out)??
Realistically there is a good chance I could push the baby out before getting to the hospital and 25% of something life threatening happening and 3% of death. If I could I would stay at a hotel next to the hospital the last month.
I really want the birth I had with my DS, but I don't think it is worth the risk. On top of all this I have a 3 hour glucose test I really need to get done since the chance of hospital looks greater and greater.
I really wish I could think positive and make all of my problems disappear. Is it bad that I am thinking about trying this line of thought for a month before making a final call?
In good news the baby is head down......
Friday, June 25, 2010
I have been thinking and I really am living where I belong.
In California the mosquitoes always bit me. Here not at all. (Maybe because I am pregnant??)
I can smell when and where some of the more dangerous animals go through the yard. I could smell a bear went through Saturday night, I think they peed on something in a specific corner of the yard.)
I enjoy watching the eagles on tree tops and the deer rest in the yard.
I enjoy the rain and think the summers here are perfect. Just long and hot enough to enjoy summer activities outside and make you appreciate the rain.
The days are long. About an hour longer than in California. I love seeing the sun at 5am or sometimes earlier.
Now if only I could figure out how to garden in this climate and keep the slugs away.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
We had an ultrasound follow up. The doctor (at the U/S place) was happy the way everything looked, but my husband I were not so convinced.
The placenta did not continue to grow as rapidly, which is good.
The baby looked healthy and measured one day ahead, good again.
The baby went from the 56 percentile to the 38 percentile, to us this was questionable.
Our first question was, how can a baby measure ahead but then measure smaller than 50%. What does that even mean?? We got no real answer from the doctor. My only guess it...maybe baby needs to fatten up is all, like the weight measurement determines the percentile???
Second question was, How can an almost 20% drop in percentile be a good thing? Her answer was because the ultrasound tends to be more inaccurate the earlier it is done.
Obviously with the placenta issues we are concerned with a 20% drop so we made a follow up appointment.
In other "fun" news I have been paying more attention to my body. I have had some swelling in an area (along with previously mentioned discomfort) that doesn't go away completely at night when I get off my feet. The same spot has been sensitive since being sewn up after the birth of #1, but now it is just a mess. I will talk to my mid-wife, but after online research my first guess is Bartholine Gland Cyst due to location, my second guess is some type of varicose vein. Neither sounds too horrible, but not something I really wanted right now. :)
My son just turned 2 years old. For his birthday he got a Strider bike. I must have researched for a month before deciding on this one.
I choose this one because it fits the smaller children. My son has a 13" inseam and most of the bikes required 14-15".
It was not a cheap wood frame. A lot of the cheaper wood push bikes have problems holding up to heavy usage or more than one child.
I did not see the need for the bike to transition to one with pedals since we have other children that will use it.
The bike was smaller than I thought it would be, but it was perfect for my son's height. I am not sure I would try it for a child with a 12" inseam, I would be afraid of them hurting themselves. At first just pushing it while standing over it (inside on the carpet) presented it own challenges for both of my children. I could see that they needed to get use to holding it up while walking over it.
My son was so excited when we took it out of the box. It included the wrench required to put the bike together and took about 10 minutes man style, without using directions. :) To a 2 year old it is a real bicycle for big kids because it has two wheels like the grown-ups. Once outside we walked up and down the street 3-4 times. My son wasn't interested in sitting on the seat and walking it but maybe in the next 3-4 times we take it out.
I wanted my almost 4 year old to use the Strider bike (she has a bike with training wheels) but little brother was not very interested in sharing and she was more interested in seeing how fast she could go on her own bike. I think starting my daughter on a bike with training wheels may prove to be a big mistake.
So far I like the bike and my son likes the bike. Hopefully it will prove to be a god investment.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I got one of these. Amon Maternity Support Belt. When I wear pants with good under belly support I am usually semi-comfortable, but when I wear sweats without any support I know it, especially if I spend some time on my feet.
I like that this keeps my belly covered, by kid #3 no one wants to see your big belly covered in stretch marks. I like that it helps support the belly just enough to allow me to get done what I need to get done. I like that it is thin so there are no lines under your shirts.
I wish it was made out of cotton/spandex instead of nylon/spandex. I wish that the back provided a little more support. (I don't have a problem with that, but I think it would be really nice, but then again, maybe not so comfortable that way.) I am not sure if I like it coming up over my entire belly. I may just start to wear it folded up on the bottom. The top band could be a little looser, it does leave a little mark after a few hours.
It does run true to (pre-pregnancy) size. My non-pregnant size is a 2 and despite looking like 30 weeks pregnant, a small fits me fine.
Monday, May 03, 2010
I think I figured out I am so tired. I am always in watch dog mode. My senses are heightened and every little creak, shuffle in bed, every smell, it wakes me.
My husband says, take it easy, you need to rest more, stop pushing yourself. Then with the next breath, Can you help me? I need you to...., You really should get _____ done.
We worked in the yard yesterday. He comes in and sits down and says, "I need to rest." I am hurting, we will say "feeling pressure" but I still needed to change over laundry, fold it, and clean up after breakfast. I then ask if he is making dinner. "Yeah, if someone cleans the bowl and measuring cup." So I take care of that too.
On top of that he was pissed all day at me because I cut him off from a story because we had to part ways in the morning. We were double parked, running late, and I told him to keep talking and keep moving and he refused. To which I replied, what can't walk and chew gum at the same time? So he was pissed all day over the comment. YES ALL DAY.
Men could never handle being pregnant, let alone giving birth or breast feeding. They would just hire a surrogate mother or ask for a c-section at the first sign of morning sickness, and formula feed without even trying.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The good news is, if this works I can start getting 8 hours of sleep (more or less) again. The bad news is, this only confirms that I need to officially potty train G.
I am ready for my babies to grow up in some ways, but one full on reading and the other potty trained, I feel like they will be in high school all too soon.
Last night while squatting down to pick up the toilet ring (for G), I smushed baby and knew it. Sure enough, I crawl back into bed and felt major movements below my pelvic bone. Let's just say I have never felt anything that low until the last month. So at 10:30 my husband was sleeping and I was trying to help baby move back up.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
So the high risk doctor recommends, protein, folic acid, and baby tylenol. Protein and folic acid to maximize the baby's nutrients and tylenol to make sure that the blood does not clot in the placenta. Some of my research also suggested rest. The livers which send nutrients to the placenta function best when you are resting on your left side. My husband and I both agree that more rest would not hurt and could be my problem. I have had 8 hours of consecutive of sleep 3 times since getting pregnant.
Here is the frustrating part. My husband told me last night he would help so I could sleep. G goes thump and rolls out of bed, and starts crying. My husband didn't even stir. We have a baby monitor in our room and their room is right next to ours...and he still did not hear it???
I am also going to try to drink more water. I currently drink about 2-3 glasses a day and 3-4 glasses of milk. Well that is great and all but, but consider I only drank the same amount when spending 3-4 hours outside manually mowing a half acre of grass. Why you say, do I do it because if I don't my husband probably wouldn't. Ironically he is the one who wanted at least an acre....he can't even handle what he has.
So this week my goal is more water, more rest, more protein, and a little bit of tylenol everyday. Then I go to get to the store and get some folic acid.
Monday, April 26, 2010
There are numerous possible causes for this and 99% of them are not good at all and only lead to serious complications and problems.
I just found out this morning and all the emotions are just now starting to hit me. Will I still be able to have my baby at home? Do I even want to take the risk of having this baby at home? Will I even be able to have this baby at home? Will this baby even make it to full term? Will this baby even make it to June? Will this baby even make it??? Right about now I am thinking give me mental retardation, give me downs syndrome, just please God give me this baby to hold, enjoy, watch grow, and to watch interact with his/her siblings...but if you must keep this child thank you for the two beautiful children I already have and please continue to keep them safe and healthy.
...and I thought all this other junk was hard....
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
There is a "Christian" on my friends list. I reply to what the person described, saying Islam has the same thing.
I get a reply, no it is different. I said, it means this in Islam...
No, no, no...it is different you can't say that....
Well how is it different?
To which my father jumps in (obviously mad) with some random garbage that doesn't make any sense what so ever trying to attack me.
Some point in here, "Christian" person tells my brother...your sister is picking on me...or something like that. Then his wife states that there is a "mini-war" going on at "Christian" persons page her her status.
Back to "Christian" persons page. I reply with the exact word translation and tell him, you should educate yourself and ask other Arabic speakers.
To which "Christian" replies, "You are no longer on the path God designed for you. God loves you. I'll pray for you."
So I am just ROFL by now and reply, Why are you judging my relationship with God? All I did was tell you another religion has the same thing and gave you a definition?
I really really believe church is a complete failure. I believe any religious leader that tells you how to interpret God's word is only doing more harm than good, provided that people can read and have a brain.
I believe God wants to slap us silly for being so judgemental and waging wars against all the true seekers of God (not the crazy people that claim.) I also believe that by learning more I only get closer to God and gain more understanding.
With that said...
This is a fantastic video (on Quantum Physics) that reminds me how simple we really are and gives me more understanding as to how God must see us.
Monday, April 19, 2010
At 21 weeks I feel like my energy has semi-returned. I have more energy than my husband, but that really doesn't say anything.
I still am no where near caught up. Laundry, nothing but piles. Living spaces, nothing but messes. Home schooling...going by the way side (aside from reading.) Husband is spending more money than he makes on stuff I consider BS (moving oversized family furniture), and has a business trip planned this week (no cost to us.) Z has lice again, so husband is all pissy about that. Husband wants to have 2 families over this weekend. We have an outdoor table that needs to be fixed, that is just taking up space in the garage.
16 year old had about 10 good days before Easter and has been nothing but down hill since. Back to the "poor me's" and selfishness. His mom believes she "needs" him for the summer to help take care of his siblings, but I have no idea how when he can't take care of himself, his responsibilities, let alone communicate in a human like fashion with a 1.5 and 3.5 year old. My 3.5 year old is more helpful than he is. She puts away dishes fine, changes over laundry, can fold her own and put it away, will get her own healthy snacks. Personally...I don't really care, he can go there for all I care, I just don't want to be his guardian. I don't want to be held accountable for his actions when I am not the one supervising him.
When did my life get so freaking complicated. I just wanted to have a husband, babies and a house and enjoy my life. Can I return the husband's family, he can return mine in exchange...
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Recipe for homemade moon sand (1 batch)
6 cups of play sand (I got a 50lb bag from Lowes, it was $4.99 plus tax)
3 cups of cornstarch (most dollar stores carry it for $1 per box...you'll need around 24 boxes for the whole 50lbs!)
1 1/2 cups of cold water
Step one: Mix the water and cornstarch together thoroughly, this will take a few minutes to get it nice and smooth.
Step two: Gradually mix in the sand, one cup at a time. You'll need to really work it in with your fingers.
Step three: Play with it!
Step four: When you're all done, pop it in an airtight container.
Step five: When you next play with it, you'll need to revive it with 2-3 tablespoons of water. Just sprinkle it over and work it in.
SIL and her kids were all here for 4 days around Easter. Overall we had a nice time. SIL sat downstairs and did her homework and the kids all played together. The one time husband and I went down to spend an hour or so with her she does nothing but bitch and freak out over everything. Seriously she is pshyco. Call is stress and PMS, but wow! The 16 year old that lives with us even said, I love my mom, but every time I talk to her she is yelling at someone for something. I like it here where you both are calm.
16 year old has been as close to an angel as possible for the last week, but then yesterday adds a pot smoking group to his facebook. Just when I start to think things will be okay he f's them up.
I have been feeling blah like usual. Trying to just keep up on life and get enough rest to survive. Even though I am only 19 weeks, I look and feel about 25-28 weeks.
Monday, March 15, 2010
I really want to continue my tap dance lessons into June, but I seriously doubt I will be able to. I can't imagine being able to tie my shoes in another 2 months.
While I was typing this. G took off his pants and diaper and went pee by himself. Z dressed herself aside from putting on the dress (over her pants and shirt.)
I want to continue to homeschool Z, but she really wants to go to school. They are finishing a brand new elementary school this summer and she is excited about being able to go their and make new friends. Sign ups are in less than a year. I feel like I still have so much to teach her in the next year. I really want her reading easy first grade books, doing basic addition, writing phonetically, tying her own shoes and I am sure there are many more things. As I understand it, Kindergarten is a half day here, and a full day if you pay for the extra tuition. Not attending the full day drastically lowers your child's chance of not being 1st grade ready. That is really messed up when you consider we live in the 2nd or 3rd best school district in the state.
The 16 year old supposedly came to reality last Wednesday or Thursday. I have been making him walk home from school (2 miles uphill) and that gives him plenty of time to think about things. Of course Friday, he was "so sorry" and just wanted me to start picking him up from school again. I told him I would play it by ear.
Saturday was okay, Sunday he started going back to his old ways. Not as bad, but for sure slipping. He was only disrespectful once or twice...
This morning he asked again about the ride. I told him I would play it by ear and for sure pick him up once or twice this week.
After the 16 year olds melt down, his mother freaked out. "Oh my poor baby! I need to be with him. He is depressed." My husband said, finally reality has hit him. He should be depressed. He has been treating people like sh1t for years. Let's have his mother come (and her other kids, one a menace and one a poor me cry baby, both old enough not to be.) The good news is, we have the basement and it is only for 3-4 days. Hopefully the weather will be nice and we can get them outside.
Life keeps on testing me.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Yesterday he says he has a ton of work to do and will be at the library doing it then he will take the bus to a spot where my husband always picks him up. My husband pulls up and sees him smoking weed with a group of well known (around town) druggies.
First problem, we said, I don't want to ever see you around them because even if you don't do anything you still may get caught as one of the crowd.
Second, we said, you are not to ever get a ride from anyone. There is a free bus and we will pick you up. (He has a bad history here...and we will leave it at that.)
Third, we said, NO DRUGS. No exceptions. You do this you will be gone in the blink of an eye to Egypt and if you have to live on the streets, tough sh!t.
Fourth, we said no lieing, no half truths. You want freedom and us to trust you. You live by this rule.
All four of these rules were broke yesterday. Then after all this my husband says..."I want him to stay around for one month on probation and then he will be on month to month probabtion until June. One word, one attitude problem, anything he is gone." BULL 'UCKING SH!T!!!! How many times has my husband feed me this line. This kid doesn't learn and my husband sure doesn't learn.
My husband says, "I know him. He is just weak." I told my husband. "You don't know him! I know him and his little games. He is all about lip service. He just broke 4 rules in one day. You just had a 16 year old dis' you."
My husband was on the phone last night trying to figure out what to do next. I told him you better hurry cause I am not going to let him stay here for 30 days. Maybe till the weekend if you are lucky.
What a complete waste of the last 9 months!
Friday, February 05, 2010
General bug party Here
Oh this sounds really cool I just wish there were pictures.
A big party with pictures Here. I like some of the food choices.
I picked up a few lice too. So I just chopped off my hair. I have just enough left to put into a pony tail...barely. It hasn't been this short in over 10 years.
I am still not caught up on all the laundry I need to do because of the lice breakout here, but that is what the weekend is for....okay maybe not. (Mama needs a day to rest and it is long over due.)
I put mysself on the scale yesterday. I am up 10 lbs at 10 weeks so I am right on track for the other pregnancies...1 pound a week.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
We also found a little jewel called Champion in Issaquah. Dry goods really cheap. This is where I get organic rice, beans, grains, boxed baked goods, and even paper products as needed. I pay $1 for a box of gluten and dairy free chocolate chip muffin mix. Yes $1....
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I am also currently on a quest to find maternity pants (with room for a growing bum) and a dress for a wedding in October when I will have a 5-6 week old and a big left over tummy.
Friday, January 15, 2010
We have a very large basement in our new house and they have space to ride their bikes and I got them a wave climber slide off craigslist a month ago. They love that slide. It is perfect for ages 18 months to 8 years old. The slide is a good size (I would say around 48" at its tallest) so that they won't easily be bored with it when they turn 4. There is also an area under it to play that can accomadate 2-3 children and a steering wheel on top that my 18 month old loves. Since our basement floor is concrete I have the structure sitting on foam mats to protect against serious injury. So far it is working.
I really need to finish putting texture and paint on some of the walls in the basement, but now that I am PG that isn't going to happen in the next year. I also really need to clean and reseal the tile grout, but I can't be the one to do it now....so maybe this spring summer I can convince the husband to do it.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
January starts the month of only nursing Gibo once a day, restart of swimming lessons, music classes and for the first time in years....something for me, tap dance lessons. I am excited as I haven't done anything for myself in years....Almost 10 years (if you don't count sewing.)
Gibo is fully eating solids now which means more cleaning for me. With all the laminate floor it is hard t0 ignore all the crumbs that fall to the ground.
The funny thing is I have tried to host two moms events at my house and so far no one has wanted to come...I guess most of the moms are just as busy as I am.
I really really need to make some friends...unfortunatly winter and the holiday season just isn't the time to do it.