The Yard Summer 2012

The couple that lived here before us built the house. When they sold it to us almost 3 years ago they were in their mid-60s. As they told all the neighbors at the time. "We like our yard to look natural." By that they meant we put stuff in the ground but we don't take care of it. 

I spent the whole weekend digging up old mulch. By old I mean it was beautiful compost on top of a weed barrier. When we bought the place they had just thrown down a thin layer or mulch. The plants were so over grown they were hiding all the rocks. The plant on the left of the picture is actually lavender, but it appears to have only been trimmed 3 times in it's life. Once when the house went up for sale (so it wasn't covering the walkway), once when we moved in (because it was 2.5 times the size it is now), and once this weekend. The poor lavender is all woody. I am hoping I can save it. 

While I was clearing the old mulch we found an opening in the weed barrier for a plant. We were talking about what to put in it. An hour later our neighbor walks over with a container full of day lilies. We have great neighbors. 

Husband got a ridding mower this weekend too. Now the lawn only takes 1-1.5 hours to mow instead of 4-6 hours. I hate that is is gas powered, but saving an average of 3-5 hours every other weekend it awesome. 

Hopefully I can finish the bottom of this hill this week and get some more blueberries in soon. Then weed the walkway all before the end of June. 

I have been going back and forth on having another child. Yes, that would be 4. This is what I have always wanted, but not sure what my body can handle. I am 32 years old....not 26 like when I had my first. My body still hasn't bounced back from the last pregnancy and it is not for lack of trying.
26 wow....it seems like yesterday, but yet I have come so far since then. Now I feel old....

Back to my point. I was confused on #4 until someone said...."In 10 years will you regret having a 4th?" The answer was so clear to me. Sure I may have challenges in the next 2 years that I am afraid to face, but 10 years from now I would never regret it.

Later that day I had my women's circle. On the way home I was thinking about having a 4th. As I turned onto our street an own flew across the front of my car (at a barely safe distance.) I knew this immediately as some kind of sign. I just wasn't sure until I really thought about it.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, M, I was also worried. I was scared for her and I. At one point I had a very vivid dream. I was driving down the road (same car) and I narrowly missed a big beautiful black horse. My daughter was born healthy and without complications. (In fact she was the only one born that night who wasn't a c-section.)

I don't fully get the symbolism. Why is the horse and one is the owl?? Hopefully some day I will be able to see the connection more clearly, but for now I will take what I can get.

So here is to the past 6+ years of being pregnant and nursing (non-stop) and to the next 2 or 3. Cheers!

(Now to get on with the baby making part......) :D

Searching

In the last month I have realized that I belong to no religion. I believe in God. I pray daily.

I was raised mainstream Christian. Usually belonging to a Pentecostal/ Assembly of God Church. I sang in every choir I could, since I was 5 years old, until I was 20. I must have read the Bible cover to cover at least 5 times, knew where every book in the Bible was and had over 20 scriptures memorized. Every time I read the Bible though I saw things in black in white that mainstream Christianity (and my local churches) ignored. (They actually ignored selective parts of the Bible.) But I was happy and I had my Christian family.

From 21-23...boys. At 24 I married a Muslim. His version of Islam seem to fit me, but mainstream Islam did not.

In the last month I discovered that mainstream Islam does not follow the Qur' an. It follow the Hadiths. Books/Stories written 300 years after the Qur'an. Upon further searching I found a small group of that follow the Qur'an but not the Hadiths. So far I have found a fit. They are called Qurainists or Qur'an Alone-ists.

Islam = Peace that comes from Submission to God.

I find the Qu'ran works with the Bible, and together so many things are re-confirmed.

So now am trying to re-read the Qur'an (in English). I am good with submitting to God. Just don't try to put me and my God in a manmade box.