Someone please send this to my child's school

This article was shared with me on Facebook. Talk about hitting the nail on the head. 

A high schooler to his mother, “You really haven’t been in school for a while. Now you know how I feel. I always thought it was my fault. I thought I wasn’t paying close enough attention. I thought I might have ADHD. It never occurred to me that they weren’t actually saying anything.”

Teachers if you have to say something 3 times for your students (collectivly)to get it, you failed. Say it once, show it once and then move on to practicing. Get your lazy ass out of the chair, walk around, and help every student who didn't get it. Have a challenge page ready for those who finished early.

....and while we're at it. Please do your prep work outside of classroom hours. I was a teacher, stop gossiping during lunch and and right after school. You want to go home an hour after school ends, move your ass and stay focused. Don't you dare put a non-educational movie or tv show on, so you can do prep work on my kids time! You especially have no excuse if half of your class parents stay at home and are only an e-mail or phone call away. 

Anyway off my high horse....

Here is a link to the article:

 http://educationaladvancement.wordpress.com/2014/05/27/disrespectful-or-misunderstood-gifted-students-in-the-classroom/

It's almost that time again

As anyone who has been following knows, I always wished for 4 children and I wouldn't complain (too much) if I would have had more than that. 

When my husband's nephew had problems he stayed with us for a year. He came to live with us when he was 15.5 years old. Now it is his sister's turn (for a different reason.)

  She will be joining our family days after her 16th birthday. I know it will be tough, but I have got to learn to deal with girl drama...after all...I have 2 daughters.

   She is scared and excited. Rightfully so. She is scared to leave her mom who she loves dearly. She is scared about having no friends. She is excited about having her own room and all the new opportunities she will have. 

Her younger brother will also join us for about a month. I love seeing things through children. I love taking them on new adventures and giving them opportunities to try new things. While 1 month is the longest I've had with all 5 of them, the more I think about it the more I feel like that is not enough time.

Phew ... it wasn't in my head

My son who is 5 and currently in Kindergarten took the Cog AT. Now we always said he was smart. Others always said he was smart. But no one wants to be like the American Idol contestant who has been told how well they sing by everyone and then shows up only to learn how horrible they really are.

You can imagine my relief when we received a letter saying he score at or better than 97%. Then you can imagine my happiness when I looked up his actual percentile up online and it said he scored higher than 99% of kindergartners nationally. 

As a mother my thoughts again turned to my oldest. She would have been in the 95-97% in Kindergarten and how now slipped to the 85-90% by 2nd grade. I pray I am as strong of a teacher, as I think I am. I need to capture her interest and love of learning once again.

Call me a Tiger mom if you must, but I want to give my children the best possible start. I don't care where they decide to go to college of if they go at all, I just want doors to be open to them so they can choose the best fit when the time comes.

I am ready

I read "100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriclum" and took the quizzes. I am an eclectic mix of Unit Studies, Charolette Manson, and unschooling. I have a Social Suzie and a Confident Carl, and I am not sure what category the youngest falls into yet. :)

It was an interesting book to look through, but not something I would invest in. Most of the information can be found online and in a more updated form.

I read through the curriculum and common core standards. Yes, it is as much fun as it sounds. 

I went to our local homeschooling bookstore. Thank God I knew what I was looking for walking in. So many choices and more than half of them Christian based/biased. I walked out with a Science text book that covers everything my children need to know in Elementary school, a math book for my oldest, a dictionary (we didn't have one), and Story of the World Vol.1 with activity book. Grand price $97.

I went online and added Art in Action home to our curriculum. 

Planned out the first 2 weeks of lessons.

My oldest was so excited she started on her new math text and read the first 4 chapters of Story of the World. I decided, go with it. So this weekend we all sat down and did Story of the World together and activities for the first 2 chapters. It went amazingly well everyone was engaged and participating.

 Now if only I can get my coordinating art lesson set up and ready to go by this weekend. 

To homeschool or not to homeschool...

You would think living in one of the best districts in your state would amount to something. Not necessarily. 

Some schools look great on paper but once you are behind the scenes, you realize it was just a bunch of adults trying to better their careers. What good are fancy awards if the students are not achieving basic competence in regards to state and national standards for their grade level at school ? 

My oldest talks until she is blue in the face and rarely gets her work done at school. There is rarely enforcement of the rules. My son needs someone to engage his mind, not bore him to death. Both of my children need to spend more time on academics than assemblies and presentations on how to be a better person. Their 6th grade teachers will care more about their ability to multiply than their ability to resight the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (especially if the adults teaching them were not capable of being a good example nor enforcing them.) 

When they say a parent is their child's best teacher, it wasn't a lie :) 

3 kids 2500 miles in 8 days

We just completed our annual drive to visit family. By we, I mean, a 7,5, 3 year old, and myself.

Day 1 - 615 miles. We left around 5:15am and stoped for the day around 5pm. 

Day 2 - 200 miles. Easy as pie. We left after breakfast and were done before lunch.

Day 3 - 260 miles. Picked up a 15 and 11 year old (cousins) to enjoy a mini-vacation with us :) 

Day 4 - 110 miles. Visiting local attractions. We also walked 3 miles.

Day 5 - 250 miles. Dropped of the 15 and 11 year old and went to my parents. 

Day 6 - Rest

Day 7 - 100 miles. Plus 5 miles on a steam train.

Day 8 - 860 miles. Left at 5am. Got home at 8:30pm. 

You add in the little side trips to eat, pee, get gas, etc. and my car picked up over 2500 miles. 

The kids had books, movies, mad libs, my iPod, and occasional use of a tablet. There was some fighting, but no one was injured. There was some napping, but not as much as I would have liked. 

We visited Pismo Beach, Morro Rock, Hearst's Castle, Jamestown Rail Road Opening Day. 

Splash Cafe in Pismo had the most delicious food by far. Clam Chowder in a Bread Bowl there is better than any in San Francisco or Santa Cruz. The kids were also in love with their food there. 

Opening Day at the rail road was the most awesome experience as a family. Going on the tour of the roundhouse and watching the locomotive hook-up to the cars was awesome. 

Moving down

I have about 30 miles in so far this year. 

We are on round 4 of everyone getting sick this week. Well almost everyone...I got sick once. Yes, it was kind of nice because I got to take a nap. Hopefully everyone's health will return soon so I can get out and start running again.

Diet bet finished up. I lost my 4% and turned my $10 into $17.50. I found that being so conscious of what I was eating for 28 days completely changed my habits. I am no longer on a "see food" diet and I don't crave chocolate and sweets, and then sit and eat all chocolate in sight. I actually tried to eat chocolate yesterday and I just got full and disgusted with it.  

I joined another diet bet game today. If I am successful I will hit my goal weight. I am kind of excited for myself to be that size again and at the same time scared I won't be able to maintain it as freely as I once did. 

Just keep running

Jogged twice this week with the jogging stroller and spent some time on the ski machine. Got in 10 miles. My goal this year is 400 miles, but I would ideally get in 500 miles. 

It's funny to think back to when I was in high school and compare it to now. 12 years ago an 8 minute mile was jogging and 25 miles a week was average. Now 11 minute miles are jogging and 10 miles a week is my average. Just call me fat and old. 

There is a sprint dualathon in June. 3 mile run and 15 mile bike ride. Part of me wants to do it, and the other part of me is scared about the hill on mile 4 and 9, which happens to be the lower part of the hill I live on. I am not sure what my knees, hip, and bike are capable of. The good news is there is a 5k and 10k run/walk so maybe I can just tackle the 5K for time or the 10k for distance and then more seriously consider the dualathon for 2015. 

Diet Better

In my efforts, or lack of lately, to move the scale, I have gone the wrong way. I picked up a couple of extra pounds and I am starting to realize carbohydrates clog my digestion. They don't digest right or take an extra 24 hours (TMI, I know). 

Over winter break with my niece here we had an awesome time running the local trails and it made me realize I need to make it a daily outing as much as possible. It makes me feel good about myself physically and mentally. So now I must find a cheap jogging stroller on Craigslist and give this a try. 

I am also trying a website called Diet Bet. www.dietbetter.com You pick a challenge of either loosing 4% or 10% in either 4 weeks or 6 months respectively. If you meet your goal you get your money back and whatever is left over from those who did not meet their goal. I am starting out with a $10 investment and then I may try higher stakes next time. Money and others is always a good motivator for me, so I am hoping this helps keep me on track. 

Huh...

The last 3 out of 4 days my husband has had to stay home with the kids while I went out and did things. He is so grumpy and bitter. Does he realize that I have been doing nothing but taking care of the kids 24/7 minus 9 days for the last 7.5 years? I don't just sit around in my PJs sulking either. If I only accomplish dishes, laundry, and making meals from scratch, it was a lazy day. I ask him if he wants to go out, if he wants to do something...not always the luxury a mom gets, and I get a grunt. 

I don't get it. 

15 and lost

A beautiful girl very close to me is miserable. She is 15 at life cross roads. She lives in a city where there is more plastic than live cells. Her family is surviving on financial fumes paying $1800 for a 2/2 under 1000 sq ft. and she has been saving money her whole life to buy a car. 

Her father left when he was told he would have to support a family that he could not beat. Her mom doesn't always make the hard choices, but waits for them to be made for her. Her older brother has no qualm taking advantage of the poor to build up himself. Her younger smiles and keeps giving. She tries so hard to fit into a city she doesn't belong.

She spends the night crying herself to sleeping wishing for a life that doesn't exist. Dreaming of a future where she is loved, treasured, and cared for by a man who treats her well. Dreaming of 4 wheels and a way to escape. Dreaming of a job she loves that pays the rent. 

She cries all night wishing her life would change. Wishing the grades came easy and the love rolled in. 

2 more days and I'll try my best to heal the pain and tell her with time things will change. 

Sewing

It is a rare occasion that I take out my sewing machine, but with a teen and pre-teen coming to spend the holidays with us, it was time to take her out.

Kids love lounge pants aka flannel pajama bottoms. Before attempting adult sizes, I wanted to try a toddler size. I followed the directions from here http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Sew-Your-Own-Pajama-Pants/?ALLSTEPS and what do you know it worked. 

Here is what they looked like before finishing the waist or hemming the legs. The project took me 3.5 hours from beginning to end with a few interruptions. 

Once my toddler put on the pants she was in love. She loves puppies and picked the print herself. 

I call that a success.

The Christmas "IT" toy for girls

In case you have been living in a cave, Goldie Blox is "it" for girls 5-8 years old.  (http://www.goldieblox.com/)

I know it is the "it" toy when my husband comes home and says we need to get this for Christmas for Z.  1st- We don't celebrate Christmas. 2nd- We are on a spending freeze for the moment.

So what is this toy exactly?

It uses a storybook, figurines, a pegboard, wheels, axles, blocks, washers, a crank, and a ribbon to teach girls about belt drives.

It will help girls improve their spatial and engineering skills while becoming better problem solvers. 

I just purchased this online today and it will be interesting to see if it gets a lot of use or gets pushed aside behind the Legos and ponies. 

Trying to move my butt and the scale

This year my goal is to get down to 125lbs. (I am only 5'2".) I started 2013 at 142.

 This summer I went down to 128, but now I am back to 132. I love chocolate and it does not return the love. 

 I did get some help from the Tupler Technique (there is only a couple of weeks difference in these two pictures and at most 2lbs.) My other secret it an old school NordicTrek. Typing now as I use it :) 

The Yard Summer 2012

The couple that lived here before us built the house. When they sold it to us almost 3 years ago they were in their mid-60s. As they told all the neighbors at the time. "We like our yard to look natural." By that they meant we put stuff in the ground but we don't take care of it. 

I spent the whole weekend digging up old mulch. By old I mean it was beautiful compost on top of a weed barrier. When we bought the place they had just thrown down a thin layer or mulch. The plants were so over grown they were hiding all the rocks. The plant on the left of the picture is actually lavender, but it appears to have only been trimmed 3 times in it's life. Once when the house went up for sale (so it wasn't covering the walkway), once when we moved in (because it was 2.5 times the size it is now), and once this weekend. The poor lavender is all woody. I am hoping I can save it. 

While I was clearing the old mulch we found an opening in the weed barrier for a plant. We were talking about what to put in it. An hour later our neighbor walks over with a container full of day lilies. We have great neighbors. 

Husband got a ridding mower this weekend too. Now the lawn only takes 1-1.5 hours to mow instead of 4-6 hours. I hate that is is gas powered, but saving an average of 3-5 hours every other weekend it awesome. 

Hopefully I can finish the bottom of this hill this week and get some more blueberries in soon. Then weed the walkway all before the end of June. 

I have been going back and forth on having another child. Yes, that would be 4. This is what I have always wanted, but not sure what my body can handle. I am 32 years old....not 26 like when I had my first. My body still hasn't bounced back from the last pregnancy and it is not for lack of trying.
26 wow....it seems like yesterday, but yet I have come so far since then. Now I feel old....

Back to my point. I was confused on #4 until someone said...."In 10 years will you regret having a 4th?" The answer was so clear to me. Sure I may have challenges in the next 2 years that I am afraid to face, but 10 years from now I would never regret it.

Later that day I had my women's circle. On the way home I was thinking about having a 4th. As I turned onto our street an own flew across the front of my car (at a barely safe distance.) I knew this immediately as some kind of sign. I just wasn't sure until I really thought about it.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, M, I was also worried. I was scared for her and I. At one point I had a very vivid dream. I was driving down the road (same car) and I narrowly missed a big beautiful black horse. My daughter was born healthy and without complications. (In fact she was the only one born that night who wasn't a c-section.)

I don't fully get the symbolism. Why is the horse and one is the owl?? Hopefully some day I will be able to see the connection more clearly, but for now I will take what I can get.

So here is to the past 6+ years of being pregnant and nursing (non-stop) and to the next 2 or 3. Cheers!

(Now to get on with the baby making part......) :D

Searching

In the last month I have realized that I belong to no religion. I believe in God. I pray daily.

I was raised mainstream Christian. Usually belonging to a Pentecostal/ Assembly of God Church. I sang in every choir I could, since I was 5 years old, until I was 20. I must have read the Bible cover to cover at least 5 times, knew where every book in the Bible was and had over 20 scriptures memorized. Every time I read the Bible though I saw things in black in white that mainstream Christianity (and my local churches) ignored. (They actually ignored selective parts of the Bible.) But I was happy and I had my Christian family.

From 21-23...boys. At 24 I married a Muslim. His version of Islam seem to fit me, but mainstream Islam did not.

In the last month I discovered that mainstream Islam does not follow the Qur' an. It follow the Hadiths. Books/Stories written 300 years after the Qur'an. Upon further searching I found a small group of that follow the Qur'an but not the Hadiths. So far I have found a fit. They are called Qurainists or Qur'an Alone-ists.

Islam = Peace that comes from Submission to God.

I find the Qu'ran works with the Bible, and together so many things are re-confirmed.

So now am trying to re-read the Qur'an (in English). I am good with submitting to God. Just don't try to put me and my God in a manmade box.

2012 Goals

Buy more "local" (food, clothing, gifts) than I currently do.

Try to cut down on meat and drink more water.

Start taking my own bags everywhere.

Exercise 15 minutes a day.

Find time to read at least 12 books.

Keep a journal and work on personal growth.

Go on a family vacation (at least 2 days)

Spend more time outdoors (hiking/camping)

Stray from the crowds

I live in suburba that boarders the edge of wilderness. Since my daughter started school I have found myself trying to make friends with the other moms/neighbors at the bus stop, while trying all the while not to become part of the group.

Upon further thought I realized this really isn't a true 'burb. We have the Swiss mama, the Australian mama, and another American mama. None of us worry about dressing like a 10, but we all are slim and active. We all dress our age. We don't oust anyone for their opinion and we support each other and work together to address neighborhood issues.

I still don't feel like I am good friends with any of them, but I think that is best. I am a lonner and have always been. Close friends are rare and trying to make one tends to distract me from more important topics.

As with all humans, I share some common interests with everyone and if only I can stick to the common interest we can all get along great and help each other.

Selfish

We are the most selfish society, ever, and I am among their ranks. We are at the point where our conscious does not even recognize when we are being selfish. We do things because we can, never asking ourselves if we should. Even when we know we shouldn't, we still do because everyone else is and what is one more...

I just read this article about a 2 month old that dies while in daycare and for whatever reason the day care provider did not call 911 right away. It occurred to me best case scenario the baby had died of SIDS and she was to busy worrying about loosing her license (and maybe even her income and home) instead of just picking up the phone to try to save a life. She was possibly more worried about her own materials possessions because our society places more value on them, then life itself. She didn't think, it's okay if they close me down for the baby's death, they will forgive me and know I did my best, and maybe society will help me feed my family and pay my mortgage.

Interesting enough the fact that we pay interest on money we barrow is a crime in the eyes of the Qu'ran. In some societies (tribes) even ownership is wrong.

I think our first step as mothers is running our households like we wish the world to run. At home we try to teach our children sharing and teamwork for the betterment of the household. We try to teach them not to waste, to return things to their original state, be considerate of others. Sadly, I hear so many mothers not even teaching these basic principles so much.

On a board I sometimes frequent there was a mother asking for input. Her son (about 4 years old) got a candy for a reward from school and the father asked the son to share it with him. The mother said, no it is his reward, he earned it. Surprisingly 75% or more agreed with the mother. Now when this boy grows up and has a family what will he think if this continues to be reinforces. "It is my reward I earned it. I don't have to share." When the same mother is left homeless in her old age or dropped off in a retirement center because it is his money and his time and he earned it, she may rethink the choices she made, but it will be too late.

I don't blame the mother for not seeing the error in her way. I am sure she was raised the same way. I know I was also raised that way. It is the American dream/promise. Spend your time working hard and live like a king or queen enjoying your rewards.

Personally I am slowly learning that the rewards are in the (doing of the) work and the rewards are in the happiness you feel when you help someone who can't or doesn't know how to help themselves.

You have food, water, clothing, shelter, medical and a way to obtain and sustain those then it is your duty to help others with what you have left. (Education is included because it is learning how to obtain and/or sustain the above mentioned things and in some cases parents use the time the child is in daycare of school to work to obtain/sustain.)

Since life is also about balance I am going to make a new goal for myself. For every dollar I spend on something that is not part of the above I will give in equal portion to a person in need or an organization that helps others.

This means. I normally spend $10 on food for a nice dinner at home and we go out to eat and spend $50, then I must donate $40 to a cause or person. If I make a trip to Target to buy the kids a new Wii game then I must donate the cost of the extra gas plus the cost of the game. This will also hold true for things like family pictures. If I spend $200 on unneeded clothes plus $200 hiring the photographer then that is $400 I must donate somewhere. Family vacations same thing. If I can't afford to spend $2000 on a family vacation and $2000 in a cause then I will just have to scale things down. My weakness is chocolate/sugar and really it is not a necessity. So I will include this for my own benefit.

I know this wont change all my selfish ways but maybe it will help me awaken my consciousness and help some people along the way.

It probably sounds like I am just throwing money on the problem. However, anyone in my situation who has young children understands that taking children to do volunteer work is negating the part where I get work done. (Yes, it did take me 2 hours just to type this up with various interruptions.)