A new day

I think I got all my tears out yesterday and today is a new day. My baby will be fine and apparently I will have the largest placenta on record. After searching the thickest on record was 42mm plus or minus 6mm. This made me realise not to get to upset because plus or minus 6mm shows the margin of error. Roughly 15%. So my placenta could be anywhere from 39mm to 53mm. Why can't doctors just straight up tell you...and our error margin is x%. It is like telling the woman, you are having a 12lbs child but not telling them....oh but we could be off by 2-3 lbs. That 2-3 lbs can make a difference. All of this reminds me why I really don't like doctors. Yes, they can save your life, but they can also make you needlessly worry yourself to the grave.

So the high risk doctor recommends, protein, folic acid, and baby tylenol. Protein and folic acid to maximize the baby's nutrients and tylenol to make sure that the blood does not clot in the placenta. Some of my research also suggested rest. The livers which send nutrients to the placenta function best when you are resting on your left side. My husband and I both agree that more rest would not hurt and could be my problem. I have had 8 hours of consecutive of sleep 3 times since getting pregnant.

Here is the frustrating part. My husband told me last night he would help so I could sleep. G goes thump and rolls out of bed, and starts crying. My husband didn't even stir. We have a baby monitor in our room and their room is right next to ours...and he still did not hear it???

I am also going to try to drink more water. I currently drink about 2-3 glasses a day and 3-4 glasses of milk. Well that is great and all but, but consider I only drank the same amount when spending 3-4 hours outside manually mowing a half acre of grass. Why you say, do I do it because if I don't my husband probably wouldn't. Ironically he is the one who wanted at least an acre....he can't even handle what he has.

So this week my goal is more water, more rest, more protein, and a little bit of tylenol everyday. Then I go to get to the store and get some folic acid.

Trials...

Had the 20 week ultra sound today...at 22 weeks. We did not find out if it is a girl or a boy. Baby looks healthy so far. We did find out the my placenta should only be around 22 mm thick and it is 46 mm thick. Placenta size should roughly correspond to weeks gestation. This is huge. Placentas are usually between 20mm and 40mm at birth.

There are numerous possible causes for this and 99% of them are not good at all and only lead to serious complications and problems.

I just found out this morning and all the emotions are just now starting to hit me. Will I still be able to have my baby at home? Do I even want to take the risk of having this baby at home? Will I even be able to have this baby at home? Will this baby even make it to full term? Will this baby even make it to June? Will this baby even make it??? Right about now I am thinking give me mental retardation, give me downs syndrome, just please God give me this baby to hold, enjoy, watch grow, and to watch interact with his/her siblings...but if you must keep this child thank you for the two beautiful children I already have and please continue to keep them safe and healthy.

...and I thought all this other junk was hard....

Facebook

The funniest thing ever.

There is a "Christian" on my friends list. I reply to what the person described, saying Islam has the same thing.

I get a reply, no it is different. I said, it means this in Islam...

No, no, no...it is different you can't say that....

Well how is it different?

To which my father jumps in (obviously mad) with some random garbage that doesn't make any sense what so ever trying to attack me.

Some point in here, "Christian" person tells my brother...your sister is picking on me...or something like that. Then his wife states that there is a "mini-war" going on at "Christian" persons page her her status.

Back to "Christian" persons page. I reply with the exact word translation and tell him, you should educate yourself and ask other Arabic speakers.

To which "Christian" replies, "You are no longer on the path God designed for you. God loves you. I'll pray for you."

So I am just ROFL by now and reply, Why are you judging my relationship with God? All I did was tell you another religion has the same thing and gave you a definition?


I really really believe church is a complete failure. I believe any religious leader that tells you how to interpret God's word is only doing more harm than good, provided that people can read and have a brain.

I believe God wants to slap us silly for being so judgemental and waging wars against all the true seekers of God (not the crazy people that claim.) I also believe that by learning more I only get closer to God and gain more understanding.

With that said...
This is a fantastic video (on Quantum Physics) that reminds me how simple we really are and gives me more understanding as to how God must see us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VS1mwEV9wA

Moving Along

The weather was beautiful this weekend. The kids would not let me sit inside. Between cleaning the fence going around the balcony and them wanting to just be outside, I got a little tan. I was low on vitamin D at 12 weeks, but if the sun keeps coming out this obviously will no longer be a problem.
At 21 weeks I feel like my energy has semi-returned. I have more energy than my husband, but that really doesn't say anything.
I still am no where near caught up. Laundry, nothing but piles. Living spaces, nothing but messes. Home schooling...going by the way side (aside from reading.) Husband is spending more money than he makes on stuff I consider BS (moving oversized family furniture), and has a business trip planned this week (no cost to us.) Z has lice again, so husband is all pissy about that. Husband wants to have 2 families over this weekend. We have an outdoor table that needs to be fixed, that is just taking up space in the garage.

16 year old had about 10 good days before Easter and has been nothing but down hill since. Back to the "poor me's" and selfishness. His mom believes she "needs" him for the summer to help take care of his siblings, but I have no idea how when he can't take care of himself, his responsibilities, let alone communicate in a human like fashion with a 1.5 and 3.5 year old. My 3.5 year old is more helpful than he is. She puts away dishes fine, changes over laundry, can fold her own and put it away, will get her own healthy snacks. Personally...I don't really care, he can go there for all I care, I just don't want to be his guardian. I don't want to be held accountable for his actions when I am not the one supervising him.

When did my life get so freaking complicated. I just wanted to have a husband, babies and a house and enjoy my life. Can I return the husband's family, he can return mine in exchange...

Moonsand

How to make your own from http://www.wisebread.com/make-your-own-moon-sand-dirt-cheap

Recipe for homemade moon sand (1 batch)

6 cups of play sand (I got a 50lb bag from Lowes, it was $4.99 plus tax)

3 cups of cornstarch (most dollar stores carry it for $1 per box...you'll need around 24 boxes for the whole 50lbs!)

1 1/2 cups of cold water

Step one: Mix the water and cornstarch together thoroughly, this will take a few minutes to get it nice and smooth.

Step two: Gradually mix in the sand, one cup at a time. You'll need to really work it in with your fingers.

Step three: Play with it!

Step four: When you're all done, pop it in an airtight container.

Step five: When you next play with it, you'll need to revive it with 2-3 tablespoons of water. Just sprinkle it over and work it in.

19 weeks

SIL and her kids were all here for 4 days around Easter. Overall we had a nice time. SIL sat downstairs and did her homework and the kids all played together. The one time husband and I went down to spend an hour or so with her she does nothing but bitch and freak out over everything. Seriously she is pshyco. Call is stress and PMS, but wow! The 16 year old that lives with us even said, I love my mom, but every time I talk to her she is yelling at someone for something. I like it here where you both are calm.
16 year old has been as close to an angel as possible for the last week, but then yesterday adds a pot smoking group to his facebook. Just when I start to think things will be okay he f's them up.

I have been feeling blah like usual. Trying to just keep up on life and get enough rest to survive. Even though I am only 19 weeks, I look and feel about 25-28 weeks.

16 weeks

I thought by 16 weeks I would be feeling good. I thought I would have some energy back and maybe not so easily disgusted. The baby has obviously been kicking for the last two weeks and twitching long before that. With all of this information we are guessing it is a girl, but we will probably be wrong, since we always are. :)
I really want to continue my tap dance lessons into June, but I seriously doubt I will be able to. I can't imagine being able to tie my shoes in another 2 months.

While I was typing this. G took off his pants and diaper and went pee by himself. Z dressed herself aside from putting on the dress (over her pants and shirt.)

I want to continue to homeschool Z, but she really wants to go to school. They are finishing a brand new elementary school this summer and she is excited about being able to go their and make new friends. Sign ups are in less than a year. I feel like I still have so much to teach her in the next year. I really want her reading easy first grade books, doing basic addition, writing phonetically, tying her own shoes and I am sure there are many more things. As I understand it, Kindergarten is a half day here, and a full day if you pay for the extra tuition. Not attending the full day drastically lowers your child's chance of not being 1st grade ready. That is really messed up when you consider we live in the 2nd or 3rd best school district in the state.

The 16 year old supposedly came to reality last Wednesday or Thursday. I have been making him walk home from school (2 miles uphill) and that gives him plenty of time to think about things. Of course Friday, he was "so sorry" and just wanted me to start picking him up from school again. I told him I would play it by ear.
Saturday was okay, Sunday he started going back to his old ways. Not as bad, but for sure slipping. He was only disrespectful once or twice...
This morning he asked again about the ride. I told him I would play it by ear and for sure pick him up once or twice this week.

After the 16 year olds melt down, his mother freaked out. "Oh my poor baby! I need to be with him. He is depressed." My husband said, finally reality has hit him. He should be depressed. He has been treating people like sh1t for years. Let's have his mother come (and her other kids, one a menace and one a poor me cry baby, both old enough not to be.) The good news is, we have the basement and it is only for 3-4 days. Hopefully the weather will be nice and we can get them outside.

Life keeps on testing me.

SERIOUSLY!!!!

For the 16 year old who lives with us we have rules. Strict rules. Rules that are put in place to keep him out of trouble and from going back to his old ways.

Yesterday he says he has a ton of work to do and will be at the library doing it then he will take the bus to a spot where my husband always picks him up. My husband pulls up and sees him smoking weed with a group of well known (around town) druggies.
First problem, we said, I don't want to ever see you around them because even if you don't do anything you still may get caught as one of the crowd.
Second, we said, you are not to ever get a ride from anyone. There is a free bus and we will pick you up. (He has a bad history here...and we will leave it at that.)
Third, we said, NO DRUGS. No exceptions. You do this you will be gone in the blink of an eye to Egypt and if you have to live on the streets, tough sh!t.
Fourth, we said no lieing, no half truths. You want freedom and us to trust you. You live by this rule.

All four of these rules were broke yesterday. Then after all this my husband says..."I want him to stay around for one month on probation and then he will be on month to month probabtion until June. One word, one attitude problem, anything he is gone." BULL 'UCKING SH!T!!!! How many times has my husband feed me this line. This kid doesn't learn and my husband sure doesn't learn.

My husband says, "I know him. He is just weak." I told my husband. "You don't know him! I know him and his little games. He is all about lip service. He just broke 4 rules in one day. You just had a 16 year old dis' you."

My husband was on the phone last night trying to figure out what to do next. I told him you better hurry cause I am not going to let him stay here for 30 days. Maybe till the weekend if you are lucky.

What a complete waste of the last 9 months!

Thinking about party planning

The two kids have their birthdays' within 3 weeks of each other. I am thinking it will be at our house and I am thinking in the yard...so maybe bugs....bees, lady bugs, flowers, frogs, etc.

Bees Here
General bug party Here
Oh this sounds really cool I just wish there were pictures.
A big party with pictures Here. I like some of the food choices.

Chop

Last week both kids got lice. Apparently there was an outbreak in a nearby town that cause a school to be closed down (25% of their students had lice.) I am guessing that they picked it up at music class since we lay on the ground in that class and my daughter started iching that night.

I picked up a few lice too. So I just chopped off my hair. I have just enough left to put into a pony tail...barely. It hasn't been this short in over 10 years.

I am still not caught up on all the laundry I need to do because of the lice breakout here, but that is what the weekend is for....okay maybe not. (Mama needs a day to rest and it is long over due.)

I put mysself on the scale yesterday. I am up 10 lbs at 10 weeks so I am right on track for the other pregnancies...1 pound a week.

Time for plants

This house has the atrium that I have just been using as the kids area to play loudly. I decided that I am slowly going to turn it back into an atrium (not that it is anything right now.) So I am starting with a Peace Lily (from Fred Myers), Aloe Vera (from Amazon), and Key Lime dwarf tree (from Gurney's.) To cold to grow citrus outside here so I might as well take advantage of the area. I know it will be 2 years before I have limes, but I am very excited about it. I also bought some seeds yesterday and plan to start them in the next week. This is the warmest winter in Seattle's recorded history so might as well take advantage of it.

PCC and Champion

So by far my favorite grocery stores are PCC and Champion (located in western Washington/ Greater Seattle area). About a month ago PCC started carrying navel oranges....WOW! Oragnic and delicious. They were just as good as the ones from my parents house in California. I also love that I get 5% off my grocery shopping on the 15th and 16th of every month and 10% off once a month (since I am a member...a one time/lifetime fee.) Now with 5 people eating and 4 out of the 5 going through a growth spurt our grocery bills are a bit insane. Saving $30 a month is a good thing.
We also found a little jewel called Champion in Issaquah. Dry goods really cheap. This is where I get organic rice, beans, grains, boxed baked goods, and even paper products as needed. I pay $1 for a box of gluten and dairy free chocolate chip muffin mix. Yes $1....

Mama needs a nap

I have 100 things to do...well actually like 20 things on my to do list and no time or energy to do them. Why can't more places open at 7 or even 8am.

I am also currently on a quest to find maternity pants (with room for a growing bum) and a dress for a wedding in October when I will have a 5-6 week old and a big left over tummy.

Here comes another...

Baby #3 is on his or her way. I am 7 weeks preganant and I basically didn't realize it until I was 6 weeks. (I was still waiting and expecting AF to show.) Right now all I want to do is eat and sleep and all my kids want to do it play.

We have a very large basement in our new house and they have space to ride their bikes and I got them a wave climber slide off craigslist a month ago. They love that slide. It is perfect for ages 18 months to 8 years old. The slide is a good size (I would say around 48" at its tallest) so that they won't easily be bored with it when they turn 4. There is also an area under it to play that can accomadate 2-3 children and a steering wheel on top that my 18 month old loves. Since our basement floor is concrete I have the structure sitting on foam mats to protect against serious injury. So far it is working.

I really need to finish putting texture and paint on some of the walls in the basement, but now that I am PG that isn't going to happen in the next year. I also really need to clean and reseal the tile grout, but I can't be the one to do it now....so maybe this spring summer I can convince the husband to do it.

Happy New Year

November we moved. December we had guests. Welcome to January.

January starts the month of only nursing Gibo once a day, restart of swimming lessons, music classes and for the first time in years....something for me, tap dance lessons. I am excited as I haven't done anything for myself in years....Almost 10 years (if you don't count sewing.)

Gibo is fully eating solids now which means more cleaning for me. With all the laminate floor it is hard t0 ignore all the crumbs that fall to the ground.

The funny thing is I have tried to host two moms events at my house and so far no one has wanted to come...I guess most of the moms are just as busy as I am.

I really really need to make some friends...unfortunatly winter and the holiday season just isn't the time to do it.

2 days!!

I am so excited! Finally a home that is ours and we get to live in it and create memories and we don't have to worry about rent being raised in a year or where is the closest park and NO more moving (after this weekend.)

Today I went to Fred Meyers. They were having a sale and I got 4 wood folding chairs at $8.99 each. They are usually $19.99. They are going to come in handy so we don't have to all sit in the bulky office waiting room chairs that take up half the dining area. Also we might be hosting Christmas...well we don't celebrate but I plan to do at least one special meal while both my parents are visiting and while my mom and my husband's sister and kids are visiting.

My new fridge is ordered as well as my new washer and dryer. Unfortunatly they won't be delivered until November 25th. At least we have the downstairs fridge and we can do laundry at the appartment until we turn in the keys. I am also calling a bath in my jetted tub Saturday evening. = )

Home Sweet Home

We are offically home owners, but we don't move until next week. Here are some pictures with the orginal owners furniture.

Downstairs bathroom/hall

Downstairs bedroom and living space

Downstairs kitchen

Laundry room

kitchen

Formal dining

formal dining

formal living

our little sun room (6 sky lights in the ceiling)

The weirdest things happen

My husband and I were at a cross roads...We spent two days fighting. I said A had to go, my husband said he wasn't done with A yet. Yesterday I was finally convincing my husband that you can lead a camel to water but you can't make him drink.
Not even 2 hours later A comes home from school with what is for him a huge apology. Basically the two days we basically shunned him and took away his music he has been thinking. He realized that he would rather be here than anywhere else and life here isn't bad at all, in fact it is rather good, so if he has got to stop some attitude and practice being considerate that is what he wants to do. He also felt like I was the enemy (because I was always displining) and because he always felt his father was the enemy. He said he really thought about it logically and realized it made no sense. Why would I take 2 weeks out of my life to move him up here. Buy him things, sign him up for classes he is interested in, etc.

My husband and I both told him that is great and all but he will have to always be proving himself with his actions and that we (my husband and I) need to talk and figure out what our next step is.

So we have decided he can stay on a week to week basis. We will be seeking him some counseling and if he doesn't prove himself, we will be buying him a plane ticket the next day.

I hope this works out. Last thing I want is more drama in my life.

Who does this...

What 15 year old doesn't know to put the non resealable lunch meat into a zip lock especially after being reminded 2 minutes earlier? I'll tell you ...a lazy, inconsiderate, selfish 15 year old who lives in my house because his mother never had the balls to enforce a single word that ever came out of her mouth. The lunch meat of course had juice in it and of course he laid the package on it's side so then it dripped all over the fridge.
This after an afternoon of lies and arguing. Honestly I don't want him in the new house. I wish I could send this to her without great backlash:

I am not sure I want your son in my house.
He is inconsiderate and disrespectful.
He lies and argues for the sake of argueing.
He lacks responsibility and initiative.
He is teaching my children bad habits and at times trying to make them go against my words.
You have allowed him to develop into this person for 15.5 years and I am at a loss for how to undo this damage.

As a fellow mother I beg of you not to allow this to happen to your other two children.
Be consistant. Say what you mean, and mean what you say, and follow it up with actions.
Teach them to pick up after themselves without supervision or constant reminder.
Teach them about money and how it works. Teach them the golden rule.
Teach them that to recieve respect you must first give it. Teach them that to argue, lie, and deceat gets you only trouble and loneliness.
Teach them that if you take others down the wrong path with you, your punishment will be double.

I think this also serves as a reminder to myself and other mothers that we need to keep our children in check and take off our goggles once in a while.

All signs point...

Lets see....crampy all day yesterday, STARVING today, craved hamburger 2 days ago, my husband felt the same way 2 nights ago as he did when we concieved Zuzu. Took a test today just to make sure and it was negative....might just test again this weekend if I continue to feel this way. Honestly, I am hopeing for another June baby...might as well keep up a good thing :)

In other news my mom is in the hospital due to complications assocated with her bone marrow transplant. She is a fighter though and she wants to watch her grandbabies grow up so I know she will be fine and up here visiting us before the year is over.

A now sit in the dark all by himself when watching TV which is a fantastic accomplishment for him. His grades could be better but he is working harder than he was 2 years ago so got to give him credit.