What to do...

My parents are only 51. They are already loosing their short term memory. I wasn't planning on their care being my main concern until they were at least 60. This was supposed to be my time to have babies and their time to enjoy them. We did everything right, my mother had me when she was 22 and I still have a couple of years until I am 30.

I'd like to think I could handle 3 people with mental illness, but I am no super woman. I am a simple mom of 2 hoping to have 2 more children and buy a house.

What a mess this is. So on one side we have my sister in law and her 3 children and on the other side there are my parents and my brother that will need more care in the next couple of years.

All of this "drama" makes me feel like we need to just step away and realize that my husband and I are only two people and we can't help everyone.

We gave my sister in law enough tips to keep her kids out of trouble (when they were asked for), but if she chooses to ignore them, there is not much we can do.
I don't want to have any regrets with our own children, and the week my nephew was here they did take the back seat to him and his studies and that may be why we are having sleeping problems with Z. She seems to be more insecure and she only sleeps well in our room since the nephew left.

Ugh...my mother. Her brain is shutting off every few days for an hour or two. She wanted to drive and pick up a rental Saturday. I said, no. As I type this she tells me she is going to drive to the doctors by herself on Friday. I told her no. She can not afford another accident.

Why do most things that matter have to be such a struggle....

Cloth Diaper Troubles

My son has sensitive skin. Cloth diapers were working well until November. Now I just can't get them clean enough and I have little or no sun to put them in to help.

I am having trouble with the Bum Genius pocket diapers. They rub the skin off his hips now that he is all over the place and spends time sitting up. They stink (like ammonium) when he pees, and they are stained. I have done my research and tried everything, short of the sun.

Why does using cloth diapers have to be such a pain in the butt? Why can't I just wash them and use them. It shouldn't require chemistry.

I have 2 FuzziBunz diapers that I like still but they don't get as much use as the others. I know in time I will switch to FuzziBunz (since Bum Genius' one size doesn't fit bigger toddlers), but for now I am frustrated with the money I invested and the way the diapers are interacting with my son.

Steak/Beef seasoning

While out at PCC this week I bought a sirloin tip roast. I had not cooked one before so I googled it. I came across this link. It was so good!! I cooked it for over an hour, because I don't like rare. It seriously tasted like a $40 restaurant steak.

INGREDIENTS

1 1/4 tablespoons paprika
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 (3 pound) sirloin tip roast

DIRECTIONS

In a small bowl, mix the paprika, salt, garlic powder, black pepper, onion powder, cayenne pepper, oregano, and thyme. Stir in the olive oil, and allow the mixture to sit about 15 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil.

Place the roast on the prepared baking sheet, and cover on all sides with the spice mixture.

Roast 1 hour in the preheated oven, or to a minimum internal temperature of 145 degrees F (63 degrees C). Let sit 15 minutes before slicing.

Yes you can be too cheap

Background: My mom drives a 1992 POS car. People have ran into the back of the car twice in the last year. I always bug my dad to get her a newer car with a few safety features...like say an airbag or two. Instead he usually turns around and brags about how little he spent on the car and that even though the head gasket leaks, the car still runs.

Yesterday afternoon on the way to the doctor my mom was sitting at a red light. This lady backs out of a mini mart across two lanes and hits my mom on her drivers side. The CR -V that hit her bounces off while shoving her car into another car on the passenger side. They had to use the jaws of life to get her out of the car.

The impact shifted her teeth and brain. It caused minor bleeding on her left side between the lining and the brain tissue. She spent 24 hours in the hospital and got a little cut up too (a few stitches.)

I was talking to my dad today. Telling him well we need to find mom a newer safer car. His first response, "I am only spending $5K. Cars are only to get you from point A to B." This coming from a man who has no problem spending $10k buying himself a motorcycle and who owns about a $1M in real estate spread out over 4 places. I went off! "You know they have side airbags now, if mom was driving a newer car she would have easily walked away and insurance would have bought you a new car. Mom's safety is worth more than $5k. I am tired of your bull sh1t excuses. Sell a property and take care of my mother."

My mom went to visit her family for Thanksgiving(4 days). She came home sick and miserable. On her way home (a 2 hour car ride) my dad calls and says, I don't have any food for work tomorrow. Can you stop and buy groceries. Then when my mom finally gets home sick and exhausted at 6pm. He asks her to make dinner. Instead of returning to work on Monday she spent the week at home in bed sick. Can you say lazy ass!

My mom's doctor today said to take two weeks off from work and my mom talked the doctor down to 1 week because my mom feels like she has to work. Seriously how can you have so much and yet still feel poor, feel like you need money to survive month to month and jeopardize your already weak health.

Have we got a deal for you!

Why is health care in the US so bad....here is an idea. Doctors and hospitals are greedy. My mom was online researching and she came across a cancer center in Zion, IL. They have this "great" deal. They will fly you and a spouse out to them for $40 a night lodging and $5 a meal pp for 3-5 days to set up a plan to treat your cancer. Then they will fly you out there as often as they need to treat you (once a week is the average.) My mom was so excited...."Wow! This sounds great." Okay first off, if you are sick and your immune system is very very fragile (as it is with MM and only made worse by the treatment) why would you fly anymore than you absolutely have to? It is only going to make you really sick and likely get pneumonia which will put you in the hospital....namely their hospital (because you will want to be near your doctor.) There you will stay for 1-6 months and accumulate a hospital bill anywhere from $200,000 to $2,000,0000 or more. While you are in the hospital your family will fly in and visit you or stay near you and generate more income for the hospital and the community.

The icing on the cake. This cancer center has a location in Arizona, which is closer to my mother. Do they offer this same package there.....nope. They only offer this to this little whole in the wall community half way across the US. (No offense to anyone, as I grew up in a similar community.)

Greedy bastards....

A family of 5

Last week we were a family of 5. My 15 year old nephew was here. He is failing Geometry and his mother is lucky if she can do 4th grade math, so we brought him up for a week of tutoring and a break from his mother (who has her own problems that she keeps sharing with the 15 year old.) This is the same kid who tried space cookies last month and told his mom she needed to try one. She is worried she is loosing her son, which she is because she is wrapped up in having a perfectly clean and decorated house.

While here he had to wake up at 5am everyday to start math. He would work with my husband until 7am, then all day on his own till 5pm with a 2 hour break for lunch, gym, and a shower. At 5pm he would play with the babies while I finished getting dinner ready. After dinner he got an hour to watch TV or play Xbox while we put the babies to bed. Then another hour on math and then about 30 minutes of TV or Xbox before bed.
Friday we drove up to the snow and spent the morning playing in the snow, and the afternoon shopping. Saturday morning he was begging my husband to let him live with us, but life isn't that easy and it is not our choice. Later that morning he flew home.
By Saturday night my husband was missing him.

Our nephew did so much better in our home with our rules than he does with his mom. For the most part getting him to do basic chores was not a struggle. At his house he whines non-stop because his mother allows it and it works her up and he gets attention from it. I personally don't allow arguments and whining and my husband is slowly learning not to allow them either.

My husband and I also saw his old self come back out. He has not been his old self in over a year when he pulled his dad off his mom. Sadly by the next day he was upset to be home.

Being a teenager is very hard.I think a lot of parents forget that. They forget that teenagers like to go out and spend time as a family receiving positive attention from their parents. They really only play video games and listen to music all day because they have nothing else better to do. Just like adults they want balance to their lives. Teenagers don't know how to give balance to their lives on their own and it is up to the parents to be an example and to occasionally make sure the balance is their (despite the will of the teenager.) They need time to work, play (which should include a physical activity), and then relax and unwind too.

Why am I writing all this...I want to remember it later when my own kids are grown and I want to remind myself that even now I need to be continually working toward a more perfect balance.

Learning from others

We just got back from California. We spent the better part of the week with my sister in law and her children.

Every time I see her and her children, I feel the same way. She messed up her life and she continues to allow it to roll down hill.

I am continually learning from her mistakes so I would like to share her story. Hopefully others will not make the same mistakes. I will refer to her as E.

When E was 19 she entered her rebellious phase. She feel in love with a man 16 years ago, who she knew had a history of spousal abuse and she never told anyone about his history. Her husband occasionally hit her but she always took it and kept it mostly to herself. He was unemployed for 6 months. At that time they moved in with E's parents. E's mother spent a good portion of her savings and retirement supporting the family. Finally E's husband got a job in California close to my husband. From time to time E's parents would come and stay with E. E's parents always did the cooking cleaning and bought E's children the best gifts while visiting and buy other large ticket items that were needed. E's husband was never happy about E's parents visiting. E's husband was only good for the money he made. E and her husband were funny. They buy things they don't need but tighten the budget on things they do need (food, clothing, housing.)

In fall 2007 E's husband beat her. He threw her against the wall then down on the ground and started hitting and kicking her. All of the children were a witness (4, 9, 14 years old.) The 14 year old boy had to step in and pull his father off of his mother. We (my husband and I) wanted to call the police but E did not want us too. We respected her wishes and my husband had a serious talk with E's husband and was warned that next time there would be no choice and no one to stop us from calling.

We moved away from California. August 2008 we received a call at 11pm from the 14 year old. He called to let us know his dad was drunk and threatening his mother and being vulgar. The 14 year old and my husband communicated online. When E was hit by her husband, my husband was on the phone with the local (to them) police and they were there in 2 minutes. They took him away and a restraining order was issued the next day.

As you can see it was very typical. He is a control freak when it comes to what he can control and she is naive about the world. He kept $50k in the bank all the time saying how poor they are. He even made a joint account just so he could deposit the tax return money without her knowledge (or signature.) E believes that everyone she meets is so nice and had no idea that the government was giving $1500 to families as part of the tax relief program (in 2008) even though everyone I know was talking about it.

You know your 2 year old will be smarter than you when....

She knows the difference between right and left body parts, says, "We're almost home!" when you turn on your street, reminds you to "Be careful!" when you get mad at other drivers or (baba) starts swerving, and she spells her last name with the same ease you do.

We have a local educational channel aimed for middle school to high school level students. I told my husband maybe I should have her watch that and the university channel (always watching in on a computer technology class.) Could you imagine....

I would really never have her watch something that advanced at her age, but children truly are sponges at this age.

Did I mention the 6 month old says, mama, baba, and night, night. He is just now getting a firm grasp on sitting up by himself.

Grandmas.....

My mom called this morning. We started talking about Christmas presents. As you can see from the last post I am a very practical person and I know what I want for my kids. We don't celebrate but they do so we are going to see them for the holidays.

Cotton food from "Under the Nile." He can chew on it, she can play with it and have herself a store or cooking party. $26 not cheap, but okay.

Melissa and Doug Lacing beads. She can sort but color or shape and make her own necklace. $10 very affordable.



I talk to my mom and she was thinking about getting them something along the same lines but different.

Not bad or anything. Just more money and it looses half of it's purpose (sorting) and I am not sure Gibo will want to play with it when he is 3.

This for Gibo. $68 from FAO. It is a very cool toy and all, but for a 6 month old I don't see a lot of purpose behind it.

From my mother who in the same call said she is worried about money (she has cancer and will start chemo. soon) The same person who growing up said $50 gifts are the limit and made all three of us go in together to get the orginal Nintendo for Christmas one year.

I guess being a grandma changes everything.....

This years toddler "IT" gift

This year if you have a toddler you have just got to get them a kitchen. Almost every toddler parent I know is buying them a kitchen. It's okay if you don't have room, just make room for it. It okay if you can't afford your mortgage and you are thinking of letting your house get forclosed on, just get your kid a kitchen for Christmas because if you don't your 2 year old will hate you and you will be out casted by all of your other cool parent of 2 year old friends.

They range from the table top stoves




to diners







Yeah so guess what Z is getting. $10-15 wood lacing beads. And G? He is getting felt or cotton fruits and/or veggies ($20) so he can chew on them safely.

Chicken Pox with a baby

Gibo will be 6 months this Friday. Last Wednesday it became obvious he had the chicken pox. I thought okay it is just chicken pox, not a big deal. I was so wrong. Emotionally it was so draining.

We went to the doctor on Wednesday. Our usual doctor was not in. The doctor we saw looked at him and wasn't sure what it was and had to go get a second opinion. As we are waiting more and more dots are showing up, they are doubling right before my eyes. They conference with each other and decide it is chicken pox that I gave to him from the shingles that I had (didn't know it was shingles at the time), because they have a 2 week incubation period.

Thursday (Thanksgiving) my husband is home for the weekend to help. Thursday night only Zuzu sleeps. We are up all night with Gibo who is just so upset, uncomfortable and has a 102 fever with Tylenol in him. We changed our bed sheets at least twice that night and gave him an oatmeal bath at 3am to help with the itching.

Zuzu's love for Gibo really started to show through. She wanted to be there with him and confort him when he cried. She would get upset when she couldn't be by his side.

Friday night it became obvious Zuzu had the chicken pox too. Saturday Gibo started getting better and Zuzu worse. Saturday night her eye started getting a little red so for the 3rd time in a week we went back to the doctor. Turns out it went away on it's own and she was fine.

Now we are just waiting for all the sores to scab over so we are no longer contagious and we will pray for minimal scars and that Gibo has magically become immune (even though when babies his age get it they usually don't.)

In all of this I did learn that Gibo is 20 lbs now and my husband not only had the chicken pox as a boy, but the mumps and measles too.

I am happy that Zuzu and Gibo had each other through this and even if we could not make them smile, they could still make each other smile.

My favorite store of all time

PCC Natural Markets. They are only in the greater Seattle area, but they should be an example to grocery stores everywhere. They but Whole Foods to shame. Think costco (organic) food prices but without the bulk and with more choices and products. They even have a full vegan refrigerated row with chesses, milk and whatever else you could need.

I knew I was in love when I walked in one day to buy my staples, bought about $15 extra dollars in shampoo and still walked outspending less than my usual trips to other grocery stores.

...and it only got better. I became a member (it is optional) and now once a month I get an additional 5% off and another time I get 10% off everything. The membership was $60 and it is a lifetime membership, unlike Costco where you pay every year.

They only allow the use of plastic bags for produce (which usually are wet from the misting) and the dry goods (like grains, soup mixes, and nuts) but in both cases there are small brown paper bags as an option too.

They have cooking classes for toddlers up to seniors.They support farmland growth and local farms. They carry harder to find meat, like lamb and bison. Every time I try something new from PCC I fall in love all over again.

If you are ever in the greater Seattle area make sure you check out PCC.

Worth the time

My parents claim they know (all about this.) Well if the "know" the why don't they make the necessary changes???

I can talk until I am blue in the face and nothing ever changes because I am and always will be the "daughter" and they the "parents". I hope I am smarter than that when I am 50.

Another strike against phamacetical companies

I can't believe that anyone would be so naive as to even make all these assumptions this in the first place. Motrin is working on pulling the ad.

Old Pictures

My mom and I taking a bath circa 1981.

Dig my pin striped jeans, suspenders and my volcano science project. 1989

Just in case there was any doubt about my poor white trash history :) It was a 4 door long bed Chevy. I slept in one of the bench seats, my brother in the back row, then my parents and youngest brother in the back of the truck. Not sure when this picture was taken other than sometime between 1985 and 1992. I believe this was Pismo Beach.

It's offical

My mom has cancer in her bones. It took doctors 6 months to figure out what we already thought it was by the power of deduction and reading on the internet. Just one more mark against doctors in the US and another reason I don't trust them. She has been suffering with no name to her pain for almost a full year now.

So after Thanksgiving she starts Chemo and we go from there. As she says the good news is she will finally be loosing that extra 100 lbs she has been carrying around and we will be making a few trips out to California. The doctor that she is working with told her that some blood count number (to tell you have cancer) is the highest he has ever seen, but with a bone marrow transplant and possibly some stem cells she should be okay after they are able to kill off the cancer.

Just when I was happy that this ride called 2008 was going to be over....a ride called 2009 is looking even more challenging.

Feeling skinny--er

I am officially down to 134 lbs. My size 4's fit. I am happy. About 7 more pounds and my 2's should fit. I am very excited. My husband even said, "What is this you loose a few pounds and suddenly you have energy?" I seriously thought loosing weight would be harder this time around, I love to be wrong :)

My goal is to be squeezing into those 2's for the new year. With Gibo's help I should be able to do it.

Worse than poop

Baba has this big waiting room chairs that he got for free 3 years ago and he loves them. I hate them. They are our dinning room chairs. When we moved they got covered in plastic. Baba put Zuzu's chair on top of the plastic (as in 4/6 chairs were still covered in moving plastic.) Her chair is on there in such a way that he threaded it through holes he poked in the plastic.

Most of this week our apartment smelled like something died. 2 days ago I figured out it was her chair. So yesterday I vacuumed the sides to see if I could get anything out. It still stunk.

This morning after breakfast while baba was still upstairs I said screw his precious chair (and cover) I am taking the booster & plastic off.

I seriously started gagging. Ever smell a rotting animal...the stinkiest smell you can imagine...that was this. A brown puddle of milk with floating chunks and a ring around the edge of the booster chair.

I seriously contemplated throwing the chair away. I held my breath and hosed it down in the sink. Then I soaked it in the sink, then scrubbed with soap. Then sprayed down with anti-bacterial cleaner then rinsed again.

I think it will be okay now. Did I mention I hate Baba's chairs.....

2 adults, 2 kids, 1.5 beds

We had guests over the weekend that were 80 years old. So We gave our guests Zuzu's room so they could be close to the bathroom and minimize the stair climbing.

We have a queen bed and a crib attached to the side. Zuzu would get ready and go to bed first in our bed. Then Gibo would fall asleep and we put him in the crib next to the bed. Then we would sleep like that until Gibo would wake up hungry. Then I put Gibo in my spot, move Zuzu to the crib, then move Gibo over to the middle and nurse him back to sleep. If my husband and I both sleep on our sides or almost on the very edge of the bed we can fit all four of us. The problem becomes Zuzu's tossing and turning and bumping her brother.

So it can be done, and I am sure there are people all over the globe that sleep four people to a bed everynight. I do admit, I love snuggling with both my kids, but Zuzu did miss her room.

Through all of this we started a new routine of putting both kids to sleep at 7:30/8pm so that we could have 2 hours every night to ourselves.

For the first time in over three years....

my toe nails have paint. I use to always paint them and well for the last 3 years I haven't made it a priority. So now it is 11:30pm and I am finally doing it :)

Interesting enough it was almost 3 years ago today that I found out I was pregnant with Zuzu. What a journey the last 3 years have been....

Oh and I lost another pound